A Goddamn P.T. Boat

Yes, you can own your very own torpedo patrol boat. It’s perfect for family outings, fishing trips, sinking Japanese submarines, and acts of piracy in international waters. One of the twelve remaining PT boats in the world, she is armed with four temporarily deactivated (because you’re going to activate them once you buy this thing, right? I mean c’mon) .50 caliber Browning machine gun stations, a 20mm cannon, and four torpedo housings.